let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
