Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize