Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
