During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
