The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Even my vagina gasped.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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