U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
