on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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