dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
