we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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