the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
