He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
