I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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