Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
if you like me you must not know who I am
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
