If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
