You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
