I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
