Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
