He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
