Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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