Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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