i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
