im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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