But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
