1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
