90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
