Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
