So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
