i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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