Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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