no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
