you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
sarcasm needs its own font
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I touched a dick in church today
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