so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
