My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
