im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
