i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
