i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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