Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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