Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
