'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
