Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
