All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
