I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
