Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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