dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
MIDGETS
????
Randomize
