Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
