JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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