just tell him i said nine months
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
