I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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