Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
