I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
