Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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