Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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