when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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