I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
operation harelip BJ is a go
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
